Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
