There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
