Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You pole danced in your parka.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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