I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
