I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Im part way to drunk.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
