I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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