Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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