Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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