i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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