no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
