who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize
