we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
In America we eat man semen.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
