So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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