I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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