After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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