new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
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