VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
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