my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
