meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
