just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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