Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize