This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I think my moral compass just broke
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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