It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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