oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
