No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
