dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
