"it" just moved
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
