Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
