I think i sorta joined a cult last night
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
