he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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