Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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