He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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