this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
