I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
you made out with another girl for some wings
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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