Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
