at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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