Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He felt like a one man threesome
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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