i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
