ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
