And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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