he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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