I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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