I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
