After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
