Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize