Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I'm really busy with my period
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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