i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
this will be a night to untag.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
