i just google imaged poop.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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