Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
