I just saw a hot homeless man
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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