i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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