Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
too bad you live with your parents still
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
