I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
