Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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