i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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