If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just invented taco cereal.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
