I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize