it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
