My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
