arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
