he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
