So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
