If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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