any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
