Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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