i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
There r osticjed everywhere
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize